Hello Tumblr,
“No.”
Yeah, “no” was their answer, and it baffled you. More time passes…. you still feel…. like you’re last on their list. And now they are going to conventions, concerts, trips, movies with this other person you assumed at one point they were interested in. Still a no. Their own family just as unsure as you. You want to feel happy for them. Because you know they would make each other happy. More time passes…. and you start to think that you were just replaced…. forgotten….. and no one…. seemed to questioned or bothered by it……
Out of no where…. hanging with different people… you find out that this “best friend” of yours…. got married…. just a few days ago….. from the people who you were hanging out with…….. That’s right. You weren’t even invited. You weren’t even told. Nothing. They got married to the person you assumed they liked! But that’s not why you were stunned. You ARE happy for them, but that’s not why you’re shocked. Or hurt by.
Why didn’t they tell you? Why are you hearing this from someone else who went, but you didn’t? Why did you feel…. so ashamed for being stunned by this?
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So then, a week passes by (since that information), and you finally pluck up to courage to ask this “best friend” on why. “I honestly forgot.”
“I wasn’t even in charge of anything to the wedding.”
“I was so busy for 3 months, because of the wedding planning, and it was just through court.”
Why didn’t you tell me then that you guys were even dating when I asked?
“Because we weren’t.”
When did you start dating then?
“We weren’t even dating to begin with. He literally just asked me when we were hanging out if I would marry him. And it felt right to say yes.”
-silence-
“You ever feel so comfortable with someone, that you don’t even question it? I feel that way with them.”
-silence-
“I’m really sorry-”
So, why did this person I was hanging out with got to go, but you forgot about me?
“Oh, well, when my sister was going to send out the invitations, she was allowed a plus one, and that person just so happened to be in car when she thought about it. And asked them to come on the spot.”
Oh…… I see……
“I’m really sorry! Let me make it up to you! I’ll take you anywhere you want. Your choice! I really do miss you, I haven’t seen you in a really long time, and I kinda want to hang out with you before I get busy again, since I’m moving in with my partner.”
Oh….um… wouldn’t want that. What day is good for you?
*She then continues to make the plans and you just go along with what she says*
Ok. I’ll pick you up on this day…
“Just call me the day before to remind me. Gotta go. See you then.”
*hangs up quickly*
……….. Ok……
You were still ashamed of feeling hurt. That you didn’t call her the day before you were suppose to meet. She never got back to you, and now days turned into weeks, into months…. and you still feel ashamed….. and hurt….. but all you have are good memories together…. and you can’t seem to say how you felt about it.
Why now? Why does this hurt? Why did this turn out the way it did? Is it you? Did you do something wrong? You’re not mad! You’re not upset, or angry, or peeved. You just feel at a loss for words.
Am I not allowed to feel this way? Did I react wrong? Should I call them back? Is it worth it anymore? Should I be asking these questions? Asking these things makes me feel horrible. Would anyone else feel this way? Am I the only one that would feel this way?
Is it just me?
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
